Well, hey World! Long time, no speak!
I’d like to shed light on a personal holiday of mine called Don’t Give a Fuck February (or Fuck Off February, depending on how combative you are). It isn’t a well-known holiday, not so much anyone outside of my circle of friends, but it’s an important one.
Did you know Black folk are fucking tired? That every single day of slogging through the world feels like a crippling burden? That it’s African American History Month? We should be jumping with glee — it’s our own month! The shortest month, but…
Speaking of African American History month, why in the hell is it February? I’d like to see the notes from the meeting that designated February our month, I mean, what were the justifications? Maybe the fact the Martin Luther King’s birthday is in that month?
Gotcha, folks. That shit’s in January. But January’s 31 whole days. So I seriously can’t see the rationale behind designating the month African Americans’ besides the fact that February is the shortest month, and therefore the shortest period of time this country could hold deference to the people they enslaved and then legally fucked over for centuries.
Month Designation Panel: How bout February? It’s the winter! Crisp air, fires in the hearth…
Black Delegation: We hate the cold. You know that.
Panel: C’mon, ice skating, hockey, good stuff!
Black Delegation: Massive side eye.
Panel: Look, guys, we gave away all the good months. At least you got something. Latino Heritage Month isn’t even its own month. You guys’ll take February and be grateful to get it.
Black Delegation: Yeah, we mad appreciative.
So I was one of only very few Black students at the Catholic schools I went to kindergarten through high school. Black History Month was a period of increased self-consciousness, as this was when teachers delved into the darkest corridor of American history and stole glances at me as they weaved their way through the curriculum (ahem, yet another instance in which the Catholic Church did nothing to condemn atrocity). I hated this month. Now, there were documentaries on TV reminding us of what we had been through, and during the beautiful 8-year reprieve while Obama was president at least we had something positive to end these dregs through hell with. Now, with Professor Cheeto at the helm, we’ve returned to just feeling cast aside, demonized, and to be real, exhausted. This struggle is all the time, and I get THE MOST TIRED during February.
So for me, over time, during February, when triggers are at their utmost (do we need The Color Purple, Frutivale Station, History Channel and PBS documentaries and, AND Roots revival all in one month??), I’ve gotten to a calm, zen, quiet place where I just don’t give a fuck. For one month. ONE month. Dude, it’s like all the time and I just need one month to myself.
We get guilty, minorities and women I mean, when we step away for a moment. Well, don’t! One goddamn month, people! White activists will tell you that one can’t afford to take any time away, especially in this climate. Well you know what? It’s IMPERATIVE for minorities to take time away to combat fatigue. It’s different for people of color in this current climate, and there have to be spaces for reprieve.
So I proffer February as Don’t Give a Fuck month for African Americans. Colored People can look forward to this month to decompress, reboot, bolster for the year ahead. Every year. So for a month: voting rights in peril? Don’t give a fuck. Megalomaniac in office of PUSA? Don’t give a fuck. Beyonce having twins? I absolutely give a fuck, why didn’t you tell me sooner????
So, this is my month off. Seriously. I’m tired, I’m chillin’ and if you’re looking for a black chick that has two shits to rub together, get back at me in March.
The Black Girl in the Room